Bestest and Worstest
by Chyna Rose
Summary: Aka Of Friends and Rivals. Todd rambles about some of the relationships within both the Brotherhood and the X-Men, along with a few of the ones between the two. Rated for language.


Bestest and Worstest

A.k.a. Of Friends and Rivals

By Chyna Rose

Disclaimer: Don't own X-Men Evo.

Everyone has a best friend if they have any. That one person who they are closest to in their entire circle. Even us. I mean, we're all close. We have to be. We are a brotherhood after all, and as brothers we have to stick together. But even so, some bonds are stronger and closer than others.

Lance's pretty tight with Pietro. Sometimes I look at them and forget that they aren't related. You know how it is: little brother annoys older, older brother chases little trying to bash his head in. They may be practically constantly at each other's throats, but you can tell they love each other. Although, now that I think about it, Pietro's let himself be caught one too many times of late. And he and Lance will bicker about anything -and I *do* mean anything.  

Me, I'm closer to Fred than the others. Don't really know why; just how it turned out. I guess it could be 'cause we understand each other. We've both been on the receiving end of bullies, although he doesn't get picked on half as much as I do. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that he looks like he could squash you without a thought. Not that he would. Aside from the whole laughing thing, he's pretty much a pussycat. Just don't tell him I said so.

I see it even among the X-freaks. I think. C'mon. It's not like I spend a lot of time looking at them, or thinking about them. I'm not a stalker. I leave *that* for Lance and Pietro. Evan and Kurt, Jean and Kitty, Rouge and Scott. Yeah, I know some of it doesn't make sense, and isn't Scott trying to date Jean, but hear me out.

Rouge and Scott are close on account of their powers. See, they both have to shield the world from their powers: Rouge with clothing or something, Scott with his glasses. And they both have a heavy price to pay for it. Just try to imagine giving up all physical contact or seeing the world in a single shade of red. Which reminds me, how the hell did Scott get a driver's license if he's practically colorblind? I mean, they make the seeing colors thing a requirement for a reason yo.

Evan and Kurt bonded 'cause they happen to have the same goal in life. Namely making it a living hell for everyone else through pranks and stunts. Which is ultimately *more* enjoyable imho than making *my* life a living hell through beating the crap out of me which seems to be Duncan's goal for some reason. Hey, don't look at me like that. I ain't a shrink.

I think Jean and Kitty are close 'cause their girls living in the same house with the same problems. Namely Evan and Kurt. I'm pretty sure they're sitting all high and mighty in that mansion of theirs talking about clothes and boys and popular music that does nothing but rot young preteen girl brains out to be replaced by cotton candy. 

Don't get me started on that shit. That quote music unquote is just total crap. And most of it is just a rip off of the others. Now if you take punk, or alternative… *that* is music. And a lot of the groups actually manage to *say* something in their songs. 'Course a lot of people complain 'cause the music ain't exactly soothing. But then…  

I'm getting off topic here. You didn't come here to listen to me rant about music. Where was I… Oh yeah. Best friends.  If you've got any friends, than you have that one friend who you get along better with, and are closer with, than any of the others. I have one, the rest of my team has one. Even the X-geeks have one. Including blue boy. God he annoys me. Not as bad as Duncan, but… Sometimes I just want to rip that fancy shmancy holothingy watch he has right off. Would serve him right if I did.

In every TV show, or book, or movie, the hero always has this one evil counterpoint. And they are *always* perfectly matched for each other. No matter how much they fight, they end up at a standstill. That is till the end of the whatever and the hero 'heroically vanquishes' his foe. I think people have these too, if they have people who don't like them.

Wanna know who mine is? It ain't Duncan, that's for sure. He's prick and a pain in the ass, but he's nowhere close to being my 'worthy adversary'. He's too dumb for that. Nah. The guy who I'd seek out in the heat of battle if I was a b-grade villain, would be blue boy himself. Fuzzy. Elf. Kurt in other words. It's not that I *hate* the guy… In fact if things were different, he'd probably end up being my best friend instead of the ever-hungry eating machine. It's just that Kurt. Drives. Me. Crazy! Totally up the wall. And once he gets me there, he just climbs or ports right up behind me. One of these days, I'll get him alone for an all-out fist-to-fist no-holds-bared beat-the-other-guy-into-a-bloody-pulp brawl. Somewhere far away from everyone else. 'Course it'll never happen. Can't trust any the rest of the X-geeks to keep their space and let us duke it out. Unless I find away to distract the rest of them… Those guys just don't play fair.

Getting rid of Evan and Scott are easy. I just gotta sic Pietro and Lance on them respectively. Evan and Pietro have the whole rivalry thing down pat. But when you consider the fact that they've been that way since they've been *born*, it's not surprising. With Lance and Scott it's like their wolves or something. You know what I mean; pissing on logs to show pack territory and only coming to blows when it becomes a matter of who's on who's turf. I mean, you want to see the devolution of humans, just put those two in a room together. Either that or Scott, Duncan, and a bound and nude Jean. 

Although personally, if I had to choose which one of either team was gay, I'd say it was Scott. Or Pietro. Not that I'm actually gonna *tell* anyone I think they both look like fags; let alone them. I am *not* suicidal. Not that there's anything *wrong* with being gay. But I'm getting off topic again.

Rouge, I *know* would stay out of it unless someone told her to. She's probably the only one of them who doesn't hate us as individuals. All Kitty needs to stay out of it would be a trip to the mall or a shiny thing dangled in front of her. I swear that girl's had some brain damage. No-one could be as ditzy as she is without it. Jean'd leave us be if she had a school thing or a date with Duncan. Which she doesn't need me to arrange… so as long as she didn't know about it, she'd stay out of it. 

Now all I have to do is set it up. I'm sure Lance and Pietro wouldn't mind tangling with their respective X-freak rivals. All it would take is picking three separate, private spots for the action to go down; somewhere that neither team's claimed as 'theirs', and figuring out how to get the X-geeks we want were we want without getting the others involved. This is gonna be one sweet fight though.

A/N: Erk. Well, this was unexpected. And I think I've laced in enough slash pairing allusions for one piece/night. Oh well. 


End file.
